Ego deters us from being able to live presently and without any anger or complaints about what happens in our personal encounters with adversity.

Surrendering means letting go of the hurt, the pain, and the self-absorption of being right or on a high horse about events going on right now. It means being ready for the hiccups and inadvertent bumps and bruises of being a person in an imperfect world, and letting go of the pain and suffering of losses over a life time.

We can expect adversity but how we respond to the moment of gnawing pain and grimacing can change the results of devastating losses. We can bridge the gulf of distance by surrendering to the event and dissolving the ego.

This may seem improbable and naive but listen. Here is a person who is dying and has lost everything in her life. Her friends and family have abandoned her. Her children are involved in their lives and do not realize that she is suffering and about to die. She is utterly alone. There is a lack of trust and an irrefutable tug on her heart to let go. Reluctantly, she faces the fear and meaning of dying here and in this present moment. She admits to herself that she is relaxed and feels no pain or fear of death. In this moment, alone with creation and the spirit of the world around her she is connected and able to find solace in her heart. She knows full well that she has lived her life and she is ready to connect to the ultimate meaning of surrender.

This is a path that we all must cross and face in the moment of death, whether the moment is violent and random, or an act of slow and building pathos. Aging has one magic bullet and that is that it wipes clean the slate of ego.

Take this person who grew up under great duress from domestic violence and child neglect and unending, pervasive violence. She learned to have a face for terror and to hide her feelings inside of her. She changed her life entirely when the time came for her to escape and she went far away from the cause of her terror. Her resilient spirit sustained her and she shared with the world her finite gift of surrender even though she was battered and beaten, raped and violated from the time she was a small child. She learned that her heart could not be swept aside and that her spirit was as shining and vibrant no matter what took place.

This is an example of what we have to do to live well remembering that this life here and now is the only thing that matters. In fact, it is the ability to surrender to the turmoil and utter folly of life that leads us to lie down, “beside still waters, to restore our spirit, leading us not to be tempted to wallow in misery, and allows us to dwell in the house of the ineffable forever and ever.”