A Remarkable Life

By Anthony “Rocko” Holloway

What is a remarkable life and how does one know if indeed he/she has led one? Clearly, I don’t know the answer to my own question, and I’m sure that most, if not all of you, know either. However, I have recently attended three funerals that have helped give me some insight.

The first one was for the father of a co-worker, Reginald Plummer. His father, Alfred Plummer, Sr. appeared to be a man that brought joy and had style. His was the first funeral that I can honestly say I had fun. His nephew officiated and family members told rousing stories that covered actual black history, family tradition, and individual legend. One family member sang an original song in the decedent’s honor. Mr. Plummer was revered and loved for his 83 years of life.

Michael McNeill was my ex-brother-in law. A talented musician, he appears to have taken a hand in the ending of his life approximately one month short of his 50th birthday. The personification of gentleness, he was extremely well loved, especially by the children of his second wife. Together they raised 8 children. I personally admired his commitment and family dedication as his namesake, my nephew, was warmly welcomed into his father’s new family. Some of his peers sang songs that he wrote or co-wrote with sincerity, humility, and deep passion, all qualities of Michael.

The last one was the most amazing funeral that I have ever experienced or about which I have ever heard. This young man was murdered by two boys aged 17 and 19. I say boys not only because of their chronological age, but they were caught by police with the gun used in the killing, and a stolen cell phone both still in their possession. Not what you would expect from experienced hardened adult criminals.

Christopher Leonard Murphy lived a full 23 years, 2 months, and 22 days. One of the mourners stated that “Chris did more in his 23 years than I did in my 75.”
I came away from this experience with a much broader understanding of manhood and motherhood.

Raised by his mother and maternal grandparents, he had almost no relationship with his father. He learned and grew with tough motherly love, perpetual faith, and a commitment to human excellence rarely seen. A representative from State Representative Curtis Thomas’ office read his accomplishments from a citation. Below is a truncated list:

-Boy scout; track team, yearbook staff, swim team member; jazz band pianist; Girard College,
-President, Black Men United; Homecoming King; member, Black Student Union; West Chester University,
-Member; Student Government, Office of Multi-Cultural Affairs, Latin American Student Organization, Asian Affairs Organization; Band Manager: West Chester and community,
-Teacher of drums and piano; Basketball Coach; Usher; Youth Counselor; West Side Church of God.

The list went on and there were several ovations during the reading.

I was also impressed by the composition of those in attendance. Taking into account family and older adults, the remainder, at least 60%, were people under 25 years. Of that number, at least 80% were men. They were from his high school, college, church and community. His best friend, a Marine Corps Captain told of his realization that Christopher was not only his best friend, but everybody’s best friend.

The most poignant moment came when a friend, former fellow student, and member of Black Men United walked solemnly and stiff-legged to the podium. He joked about being an “old soul”, and how Christopher teased him about being an old man. His words however, were no joke. He told of how Christopher had saved his life during a boating accident and neither had ever told anyone. Most important was his message of forgiveness.

He told of how Christopher’s friends wanted to go find the killers and extract revenge for the beloved person taken from them. But… they all knew that any such act, even those angry thoughts that come natural to all of us were truly a disservice to his friend. He stated that Christopher would have told his killers to spend the rest of their life trying to be the best people they were capable of being.

Those young people stood, clapped, cheered, hugged each other and cried both publicly and shamelessly at those words. I found myself crying for a man I had never met; a man I truly admired.

Again, I ask, what is a remarkable life? I still don’t know, but I feel that I have a better idea after attending those funerals. I also intend to spend the rest of my life trying to have an impact on others that might one day be viewed as remarkable. I hope that I have already touched you.